EMOTIONS 101
12.31.17
Today I journal my emotional feelings- it’s simple, yet so difficult for me. I wear my feelings on my sleeve for others to see and use- yet, cannot externalize my feelings to those I care about. I’ve been vulnerable at times, trusting others with my emotions, only to become betrayed and hurt in the long run. After several attempts of that, I’ve shut down and been labeled as “alpha-female, confident, strong, and even a determined woman…” so on and so forth. Truth be told, I don’t FEEL any of those things after being betrayed, hurt, and lied to! I am human. I want to scream, cuss someone out, and even hurt others. But God showed me over time how to control my emotions by TRUSTING Him! I would be an emotional mess today if I didn’t trust in my loving Father. I typically love unconditionally. I also understand that no one loves like I love. God gave me a sense of love that normal people can’t really understand. But I am forever grateful for this kind of love. It has gotten me through so many facets of life. This love has conquered my fears, it has allowed me to heal internally, it’s also allowed me to forgive the unforgivable. God is love! That’s how I know He resides within me! I would not be able to do that kind of love on my own!! I know that for a fact! This kind of love smothers all kinds of anger- I’ve seen my own smothered and even my loved ones! Love is amazing. God shows us what our purpose is in one’s life. When someone comes into your life, it is not always for romance and eternal bliss. I have seen people come and go in my life and my family’s lives, and we are left baffled as to why they were ever there? God recently gave me a sense of security in knowing that true love never dies. Hurts that are not healed hinder love from entering in. God also has shown me that once a heart is cleaned out of: hurt, impurities, negativity, bitterness, anger and so on, He pours on us a love that is unexplainable towards people we thought would never have a chance. God’s name is Love. I want to be love! I have tried to be more like my Heavenly Father, Perfect Savior, and Eternal Spirit- and I still fall short. I wish everyone had at least part of this kind of love that I have inside me. It’s truly unexplainable, pure and soooooooo fulfilling. I just love! No question, no deeds, no expectation required, I just love! It’s hard in the natural eye, but God took that natural eye away from me a long time ago, when I began to love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable, and seek Him for that level of love. Now with that level of love, I also need God’s wisdom to make the right earthly decisions while I am here on earth! I can’t possibly love so hard and allow people to take advantage of my pure love. So, I ask my Father, “how can I stand my ground and still love those that hurt me?” God also shows us strategies in how to love his children without offending, discriminating, and judging! Isn’t that amazing?! I have asked Him to please allow me to be firm in ‘love’ and also not allow myself to be taken advantage from. He will help each of us out of these circumstances- believe and trust in God. It will happen for your lives too! God will show you how to love the way Christ did on this earth so many years ago! It’s our duty to know our purpose on this earth and fulfill it, so that one day we will return home to Heaven and report to our Father. Love is key. Love conquers all. Love is all. God is love.
